Celtics' Marquis Daniels = Movie Star

New Boston Celtics phenom Marquis Daniels has landed a big-time role in James Cameron's newest epic Avatar:

Cameron used tons of new really sweet technology to make Daniels look blue. WHICH MEANS HES AN ALIEN!!! IT'S SYMBOLISM!!!

Beavis and Butthead Do The Ramones

Best Reaction Ever:

Death Panels Threaten Rock n' Roll Kings

2009 was a scary year for the elderly. Health Care reform inevitably has produced death panels: government officials will decide whether your granddaddy will get his liposuction.

Let's hope when the following five bands are brought up to trial, the jury will consider the following musical recordings, released in the past year, before rendering their decisions.

Five Albums From 2009 By Old People That I Liked:

Mission of Burma: The Sound, the Speed, The Light - Matador Records

Sonic Youth: The Eternal - Matador Records


Dinosaur Jr: Farm - Jagjaguwar Records


Pissed Jeans: King of Jeans - Sub Pop

Califone: All My Friends are Funeral Singers - Dead Oceans

An Exercise in Snobbery: The Best Records of the Year

Dear Readers,
The next week I intend to present my favorite records of the year in order to unearth them from the tedious cycle that is the hipster-wheel of doom. Sick isn't it? A band releases a record, a few people mutter incoherently about their uninformed reactions, and we forget about it all two months later.

I am fighting against the ignorance for you, bands who don't know me and probably never will.

Warning: The following list I have compiled doesn't have an arbitrary ranking system.

I'm already a fraud for publishing any sort of list. Rankings would make me a fool.

Do not panic. I am doing this intentionally.

I promise: it's in order to spread the word about recordings that, after a decent year in music, should be heard by all interested parties. Plus it might've slipped by yah.

I'm going to throw up five a day until I run out. It could amount to twenty-five.

God Bless Sleater-Kinney

OK so Sleater-Kinney broke up this decade waa-waa I'm a baby they were awesome I miss them, etc.

Carrie Brownstein still represents the old school Northwest goodness on her NPR Blog, Monitor Mix.

Recently she interviewed a whole buncha cool, underrated artists and industry moguls about the past decade, including Jean Smith of Mecca Normal and Hutch Harris from The Thermals.

Read the post here.

Plus, if you're interested in behind-the-scenes information like me, check out this round table discussion Carrie did with all the leaders of some of the best underground rock record labels.

Glenn Beck Vs. Sarah Palin is a Hooot

I don't know why I find this way funny, but then again, I do love America.
Why don't you decide:

Leon + Kramer = Comedic Masterpiece

Haven't watched Curb Your Enthusiasm? Never saw Seinfeld? Doesn't matter. Watch this clip from Episode 9 of this past season of Curb. You don't need to know the context, that's how gosh-darn pee my pants funny you will find it:

The Avalanches Have New Music - Time to Freak Out

The vinyl sample kings The Avalanches have a brand new twenty-three minute dance number called "Brains (Teazer)" that is grand and must be heard by everyone.

I could never quite pinpoint why The Avalanches' last record Since I Left You was so damn good until I heard this new material. These Aussies know how to run the dance music game with carnal beats, dense production, and a certain giddy addictive element that makes me hit the replay button.

Check out the new song here. (Via Stereogum)

Gotta give credit when credit is due. Stereogum showcased this new number as part of their 25 Most Anticipated Albums Of 2010 List which has a few interesting tidbits of information about bands I like. Worth a glance.

Providence, Concerts, Blah Blah Blah

Went to this show last night:


I liked this band:

(Via lotsofnoise.com)




That's all I have to say about that.

Circulatory System - A Little Bit Different

Circulatory System! New Record! Signal Morning!

FYI: Circulatory System are William Cullen Hart's musical project, a dude from the original Elephant 6 collective. Last record came from Hart over seven years ago, due to the fact he's been battling multiple sclerosis.

I've listened to this album once a day for the past week. Signal Morning is the best Elephant 6-related piece of music to come out in the past five years and stands up well against the classics from Neutral Milk Hotel and Olivia Tremor Control.

Here is my review, via 75orless.com.

I Like Music, If You Didn't Notice

Jeffrey Lewis, one of the better modern songwriters out there, tells the story of early NYC Punk:



Vivian Girls, Brooklyn punk rockers, play a pretty-sounding set, recorded by a good film maker:



Nirvana, that Seattle grunge band, rock the fuck out. Note Dave Grohl's drumming chops:



Check out the Cokemachineglow.com review of their new DVD, Live at Reading.

Breaking Bad = Recommended TV Show

Today I finished watching Season 1 of the AMC series Breaking Bad.

I rate the show as an instant classic in the realm of artistically challenging and entertaining television.

I know Mad Men, also on AMC, has gotten a lot of accolades of late. If you like Mad Men, you should try and catch this show.

Watch out for March 2010, when Season 3 of Breaking Bad starts. Catch it before everyone else does, if you want to be hip like me! Or at least to support intelligent television.

More fans + high ratings = the continuation of great TV.

Brian Cranston (above), won a best actor Emmy for his role as a chemistry teacher who learns he has lung cancer and decides to cook crystal meth to save up some cash for his family if/when he dies. It's hard to believe he's the same person who starred as Hal in Malcolm in the Middle.

The show makes Weeds, another dark comedy about selling drugs in America suburbia, look like a glorified porno. And I like that show. (Worth noting: Weeds has a lot of nudity and is very much over-the-top).

The acting, writing, and camera work in Breaking Bad are all top notch.

The storyline is fresh without being outrageous, heartfelt without being overly-sentimental, and dramatic without being slow-motion boring.

The Soprano's is one show that is a very close companion to Breaking Bad: in the most basic summary, it's a fascinating drama about families dealing with the difficulties of the real world.

And Cranston does steal the show. He acts his ass off and is dominant on all levels, but especially on his concentration on humanistic details. Facial expressions, body language, and voice levels aid the overall quality of Cranston's bad-ass role.

If you're bored and want to start watching a new show, try to hunt down the pilot of Breaking Bad. It sucked me right in, right off the bat, in the first scene, of the first episode, and if your a fan of high quality television, you won't be disappointed.

Note: Season 2 of Breaking Bad will be released on January 5. Try to watch Season 1 first, it is the type of show you want to see in the correct order.

These are Two of My Favorite Things...

Sarah Palin and 2012? Give it to me baby.



Suck:

I changed the TV to the live music channel and was quite pleased to see my boy Neil Young singing "Heart of Gold." Not my favorite track by him but solid nonetheless.

I looked down at my computer to check my email. Then I looked up to check what song Neil was playing next and guess who's staring at me?

Robert Plant. Circa 2006. He looks like this:



Apparently, the shows had changed over. I had caught the tail end of a Neil Young show, the beginning of a Robert Plant special. What a disparity in musical talent.

I am suffering from some serious disappointment, yes-sir. Sucks more than Octa-Mom.

Most disappointing portion of my otherwise chill weekend.

Califone - Funeral Singers

Califone are one of my favorite contemporary bands.
They have a new record out:
"All My Friends Are Funeral Singers."

Read my review.

Check Out the New Music Video (via Pfork)

Fugazi - Waiting Room

I had to post this video of early Fugazi performing "Waiting Room." Via my homie David's blog, Uncontrollable Urge. Blast dis joint right here:

MTV Wins Booby Prize

The best show ever invented, MTV's "Jersey Shore," premieres on December 3.

It may be the single greatest achievement of the 21st century.

Sociologists ain't got nothin' on MTV Reality.

Here is the first trailer:



If Aliens were real, they'd be from New Jersey. And blitzed out from huffin' on hair products.

If all television was this good, there would be a zero percent unemployment rate.

"Jersey Shore" crosses over cultural boundaries, linking all species together, in order to point and laugh at ridiculous guidos.

It is the most American television show ever.

Here is the second trailer:



I am more excited about "Jersey Shore" than the Super Bowl.

Mick Foley on The Daily Show

Somewhere, my seventh grade self is smiling:

Gaywatch - Peter Vadala & William Phillips

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Don't Look Back: Oh Mi Oh My

Guess I'm selling my Pavement tickets:

A Concert Poster Here, A Concert Poster There

Hi!

I love me a good concert poster.

Here's one from a concert I'm going to tonight, followed by a couple old ones, from shows I've been to the past month or so. Enjoy!

Conan O'Brien Kills

I am a big ol' Conan O'Brien fan, from the days when he was on at 1230 and re-aired on Comedy Central. (Whatever happened to that?)

That dweeb hit me in all the right places on my funny bone.

Whoever thought moving to 1130 was a good idea should be put on heavy tranquilizers and be forced to watch every episode of the Craig Ferguson show on repeat for several days. Shit's rough.

I'm disappointed by the lack of energy from Conan since the move.

The guy seems pissed off he that he got moved, mostly cuz he had to tone his shtick down a helluva lot.

At first, his attitude seemed downtrodden and pathetic. The dude was bummed out, his main strength, left-field wackiness, had been de-balled.

The Network made Conan go towards the middle road, trying to rope in people who watched Leno. That didn't work, cuz Leno is, respectfully, lame and tacky.

That's a reflection of his audience. He falls back on jokes that are not challenging and simple-minded. Did I mention lame?

So, Conan got screwed cuz even his middle-of-the-road shit is way out there compared to Leno.

In the end, his real time-slot is 1230, a niche that he dominates cuz people who are still up at that time are looking for something interesting, something new.

Well, evidence from the following videos makes it seem like his bitterness has started to creep into his comedy a bit.

Maybe his attitude started to turn a little after he fell and got that concussion.

Either way, he's starting to take out his anger on celebrities, something he's pretty damn good at. He wrote for The Simpsons, after all.

I don't know if he's fighting with the Network about his guests, but it seems pretty clear that he disliked Heidi and Spencer, stars of The Hills.

I've never seen Conan hate on guests as much as he does in the following videos.

Bonus: Check out the third video, where he reacts to Kirstie Alley's twitter heckling.





Kirstie Alley Vid:

On the Rise - Freddie Gibbs

I've been so bored with 95% of new hip hop lately.

I have zero patience with any of it and when it's on my iPod I usually get ADD and change it to Sonic Chicken 4 before I start getting pissy.

That has changed with the recent discovery of the new Freddie Gibbs mixtape/album, midwestgangstaboxframecadillacmuzik.

This is a Banging LP, my friends. Download it and bump it, loudly, in your ride, preferably while smoking multiple bluntz. That's how Gibbs would want it.

He has another one out, The Miseducation of Freddie Gibbs, which I haven't heard yet but will, in due time.

Why I like it: It sounds like UGK. 'Nuff said.

Check out track 3 on midwest... and you'll prob agree with me.

Bob Dylan - Must Be Santa Claus

Bob Dylan, singing a Christmas song, dressed in a wig, dancing.

I laughed so hard I cried. Please watch.

Common Sense

Sarah Palin is a Southern goddess and can say and do whatever the fuck she feels like doing, any time, any place, any where.



She's from Alaska, prick, ain't nobody that can touch that shit.

Mt. Olympus for rednecks.

Ya ever hear of an Evangelical punk rocker? She's the motherfucking first.

Rock out, Mrs. Palin. Read her recent remarks here:
Rush Interviews Sarah, Common Sense Pervades Conversation.

Titans Owner = Classy Hand Gestures

After mourning over one of the most gut-wrenching Patriot's losses in history, I was glad to read this article about the Tennessee Titans' awesome owner, Bud Adams.

Dear Mr. Adams,
Your Redneck past has caught up to you, to delight me:



Reports: Titan owner made obscene hand gesture

PS: Thanks for making Jeff start Vince Young over Kerry Collins. Another great decision!

Tiny Mix Tapes Featuring: ME

I made it on Tiny Mix Tapes. I forgot I had sent them this a while ago. It's pretty funny and makes a good mixtape, from my estimation.

Look Ma, I made it!

I have been stalking my Ex-Girlfriend for three weeks and I need something to listen to while sitting outside her work. - Requested by: Mogonace | MIX TAPES | Tiny Mix Tapes

Carsick Cars = Kraut-Rock Specialists

Saw the band "Carsick Cars" at Hampshire College Friday night. The three dudes are straight outta China. I enjoyed their spacey, Neu-inspired Kraut rock. So much so that I jumped into the mosh-pit.

Street cred fact: They opened for Sonic Youth in Beijing.

Awesome fact: There were several Chinese groupies screaming like "Carsick Cars" were the Beatles.

I think they're cutting a record or releasing one soon, I'm anticipating that one for love-making.

On their Myspace, I'd check out the song "C" first.

RIP Jerry Fuchs

Click: RIP: Jerry Fuchs of Maserati, !!!, The Juan Maclean | MISC NEWS | Tiny Mix Tapes.

I've posted a sick performance of !!!'s "Must Be the Moon," which got me into the group and features Mr. Fuchs on drums, in the yellow shirt. I'd go over to Pitchfork if you want to see the rest of the set.

RIP Jerry Fuchs

Stephen Colbert Fakes a Bong Hit

The combination of Barney Frank and Stephen Colbert is a must-watch.

Click Here

Sammy Sosa in White Skin, Horrifying

Have you seen these photos of the Chicago Cubs' former slugger, known steroid-user, and all-around creepy bastard Slammin' Sammy Sosa?

The link below explains what happens when a person goes through a 'skin rejuvenation.'

Or when a 'dude takes way too many steroids and turns into baseball's version of Michael Jackson.'


Link to Sammy Sosa's Dying White Skin

Big Black - Passing Complexion

I play this song once a day now.

He Hate Me - Blasphemy and The Beatles

Or, Why Abbey Road is My Least Favorite Beatles Record
And I'd Rather Listen to AC/DC



Versus



Yesterday I found out that the Beatles last recorded album, Abbey Road, annoys the hell out of me. I've been trying to weed out my record collection of its garbage that's been collected over the years. I began the process by alphabetizing, by decade, and going from there.

The listening began in earnest yesterday, starting with the A's. I already have uncovered a blasphemous epiphany. Its significance I am only beginning to understand.

That's right folks: I like AC/DC's record, Let There Be Rock, more than The Beatles' Abbey Road. I know, on paper, that sounds like a whole lotta bullshit. But bear with me, as I deconstruct this minor crisis in taste and identity I've endured the past two days of my life. It'll make sense when I'm done, trust me.

First off, let's make this crystal clear: I Love The Beatles. I could give you proof, by waxing poetically about the significance of The White Album on my music evolution, but I'll save you the trouble and tell you straight-up: The Beatles made some of the best fucking rock music ever. Unquestionably, duh. They changed music 4eva and eva. Blah blah bleck bleh bloop bleep. Meergh. PS: George is my favorite.

I adore AC/DC. I'm not as in touch with their entire music oeuvre but Back in Black is brilliant.

I listened to AC/DC first. AC/DC is rock in its purest form. I loved it.

Then the Beatles came on.

I started taking notes because I was so shocked at how boring I found Abbey Road.

Here's what I wrote:

Octopus Garden: I can't help but think that this album spawned the smoldering dump known as "Phish" or at least made it acceptable to make music with epically lazy lyrical content. At the time, maybe this song was quirky and charming. But sometimes I think The Beatles get a pass because they are THE Beatles, and here, for fuck's sake, this is something that cannot be ignored. They spawned acceptance for mind-numbing and mediocre genres of what is hardly passable music.

I Want You (She's So Heavy): Santana breakdown, rather listen to Abraxas than this song ever again. There are some lazy fucking lyrics again here. I think it sucks.

Unquestionably, there are some bangers on this record, but Does Their Mystique Excuse Them For This? = written exactly like this in my notebook.

Bangers: Come Together, Here Comes the Sun, You Never Give Me Your Money, Mean Mr Mustard, Bathroom Window

Fucking horrible:
Spanish singing on the sun king = hokey ass shit, something about mi amor ble bla blah cringe crunch crush

Abbey Road has, count 'em, three absolutely unlistenable, heinous tracks.

I relistened to AC/DC, to make sure I wasn't over-exaggerating. Again, notes:

Forceful, thunderous, thank god i'm alive cuz it's grand - it's that type of record. Rock music with a pulse - it's a marvelous type of record. I'm wholly impressed and pleasantly rocking. Play this shit loud and play it with authority because these motherfuckers are fearless.

And whaddya know, more research has revealed that this was the last Beatles record and they all hated each other during the recording process. And boy, it comes off that way: it's off-balanced and negative in some ways, half-assed and stupid in other ways, and fucking crucial in the other 60 percent.

This album pisses me off for that, plus:

I don't like listening to people make music that they aren't actually that into. I don't think the Beatles were having any fun making this record. Was it for the money? The legacy? Nostalgia, already? I don't know, and frankly, could fucking give a damn. If I want to listen to music, I don't want to hear a lot of the shit on this record. It's depressing to me that people don't criticize The Beatles on Abbey Road. Compared to how fucking brilliantly conceived their other records are, this one has zero pulse.

And that is why I think AC/DC's wonderful Let There Be Rock sounded like the best music I could have ever heard ever. The Beatles were pissed off at each other, and didn't streamline that anger into the music. They needed an editor in there, to cut off the fat, and to put out the good shit.

There's no way a Beatles album needs to make me this pissed off. Thanks.

Most importantly, AC/DC are having fun rocking your face off, howling at the moon, shitting your pants, and cursing at your parents. Jesus, they rule. It really sucks the singer on this album choked on his own vomit, but at least when he was living he fucking LIVED. The Beatles died somewhere in the late 60s, and Abbey Road, that pretentious horde of bull shit, is a big obvious point to that. At least parts of it.

Everyone has a favorite Beatles tune, a favorite Beatles record, a favorite Beatle. They're a band everyone can talk about.

And now Abbey Road is officially my, "Least Favorite Beatles Album." Any arguments?