Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Cool Vs. Sucks

Cool


















Sucks


















In today's post, I will provide commentary on
the major happenings from the past couple weeks, in order of significance to me.

IT WILL BE CALLED
COOL

VERSUS
SUCKS

Cool: SARAH PALIN RESIGNS FROM HER JOB AS GOVERNOR OF ALASKA

Why This is Way Cool
: Sarah Palin scared me more than I'd like to admit when she ran with that old guy last year for leader of the country.
Luckily, Americans recognized that fascist porn stars should not run the government.
God Fucking Bless America.
In conclusion, when I heard Palin was resigning, I did a pirouette.

Cool Level (Out of 10): 7.6
The rating would be higher if she was resigning because she got caught boning Trig.

Sucks: OXFORD COLLAPSE BROKE UP

5 Reasons Why This Sucks Ass:
1. They were one of the top ten young punk bands out there.
2. They were one of the top fifteen bands I've ever seen live.
3. Last year's most overlooked album, Bits, was top notch modern punk rock that I'll never hear live again.
4. They were pretty nice dudes, from my encounters.
5. In all, they were old school in the right ways:
They put out colored 7 inches, played tight shows, and ate pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

Oxford Collapse will be sorely missed.
Thanks for the tunes and shows.

Suck Meter: 9.9
It reaches the 9.9 because I can't go to any of their farewell fucking shows. Dammit.

Cool: JENS LEKMAN GOT SWINE FLU

Why This Fucking Rules: I hate over-the-top, over-orchestrated, over-wrought, over-bonerized, bloppy bloop music. Go to hell. Who decided that this shit was good?

Cool Level: 5.6
I kind of like a couple songs on that Maple Leafs album or whatever that clever fucking album title is called. It sounds like lo-fi Magnetic Fields. But the new album is the worst shit ever.

Sucks: MICHAEL JACKSON DIED

Why this is shitty: Besides the incessant news coverage? And the depressing footage of Jackson performing two days before dying? And the all the reminders of pedophilia? I guess the fact that he died in front of one of his kids. That's probably the most shitty part.

Shitty Level: 8.0
Name me another artist whose top ten songs can get the dance floor bumping, immediately, without question or hesitation. You can't, you silly fool.

Cool: MISSION OF BURMA ARE PLAYING FRIDAY NIGHT IN NORTHAMPTON

Why Do I Have a Giant Erection: Mission of Burma are more important than the Killers.

Why Did I Mention the Killers?: I kinda hate The Killers.

Why Is This?: The Killers sound like someone dropping diarrhea from their butts when heard next to Mission of Burma.

Cool Levels are shooting through the roof. Can't possibly measure this shit. Gotta go!

Mission of Burma





Going Underground Summer Show 7

I'm not judging you
I'm judging me
My academy
Your academy

-Mission of Burma, Performing at Pearl Street
Friday July 10 Northampton, MA

I played a couple of their songs on my radio program. How surprising!

Playlist Playlist Playlist Playlist

Vandelay Industries #7

Vandelay Industries had some Technical Malfunction Challenges.
Vandelay Industries Fights Anyone.
Vandelay Industries is Unstoppable.
Suck My Kiss!
Playlist: (* = new)

Andrew WK - OH Canaduh - A Wild Pear - Nardwuar*

Doom - That's That - Born Like This - Lex*
Mos Def - Twilite Speedball - The Ecstatic - Downtown*
Cadence Weapon - Black Hands - Breaking Kayfabe - Upper Class
Clipse - When the Last Time - Lord Willin' - Arista
Portishead - Numb - Dummy - Go!Discs Ltd./London

High Places - New Grace - 6 Songs - Self-Released
Health - Triceratops - Health - Lovepump United
Screaming Females - Starving Dog - Powermove - Don Giovanni*
Deerfhoof - Milk Man - Milk Man - Kill Rock Stars
Sunset Rubdown - Black Swan - Dragonslayer - Jagjaguwar*

The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health - Silent Shout - Mute
The Modern Lovers - She Cracked - S/T - Sanctuary

Plus This! Click ME!

Vandelay Industries #6

A picture of Louis Armstrong thinking is cooler than anyone doing anything by 500 times.

Playlist

Going Underground Summer Show 6




Documenting the greatness that is my taste in music. Suckers.

Here's June 22's lovely playlist.
PLAYLIST CLICK ME HERE PLAYLIST

Followers